Episode 45: Paul's fortune

Well now we’re getting somewhere. Or rather, we’ve just arrived somewhere — The mighty Socialist Republic of Comradstan, a tower city overlooking the bountiful coca fields of northern South America.

When I woke up this morning, inexplicably covered in my own fluidic discharge, Skoll had left me behind to take care of Paul the tag-along. Sannah and Scooby insisted on waiting in shantyville, presumably because when a magical deck of cards steals your best friend, the best course of action is inaction. They must have had faith that Skoll could find the way back, even in his delirious state of mind. If he’s still alive. I don’t know what the implications of disappearing are, so I wasn’t about to stick around waiting for a sign.

If I knew Skoll, and I did, he would’ve wanted us to take the remaining slaves and continue to the safety of our tower city destination. And he also would have encouraged the reckless purchase of unregulated narcotics in the name of supporting a free market. While Sannah stayed behind with the monstrous talking dog, Paul and I took the slaves and continued on. During the journey, our paths crossed with some traveling medicine men who were willing to part with their mind-expanding concoctions in exchange for gold. My impromptu experiment studying the effects of various drugs and their treatment of PTSD in former rape victims was an utter success. Who says you have to be connected to a tower network to show humans a good time?

The ever-sheepish Paul followed me and the rest of the slaves to Comradstan, but on our arrival, the strangest thing happened. Paul, the silent, the wallflower, the forgettable… He was recognized by the city guard. And not just recognized. He was revered! He shared my astonishment in learning that he had his own personal mansion within the city. That’s some pretty impressive stuff in a place like Comradstan, where equal distribution of wealth is the righteous norm.

While Paul the Revered was able to skip right into the city, I had to face the quarantine guards. They asked me why I wasn’t part of their club anymore. Buncha’ phonies if you ask me. Paul was gracious enough to wait until they were done interrogating me, and we visited his manor together where we met up with Adam.

To mourn Skoll’s disappearance, we all decided to crack open a phoenix in his honor. I’m not gonna lie, they were pretty bitchin’ and were more than enough to make us forget about what’s his name the magnificent. Afterward, Paul was our ambassador to the Demi-sire in discussions that we hope will result in the creation of Adam’s cloning facility. It is our feeble attempt to fight the threat of Nod, although I must admit I have as much faith in that succeeding as I do in Skoll returning with a pristine state of mind.



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